So, I'm stealing this idea from your therapist for your mom. I don't know how to be a husband to you anymore. I love you and ##### more than anything in this world but I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I'm allowed to ask about sex once a week and I can't try to do anything without asking, so I have one window a week if you decide it's ok. I'm not allowed to come into your office to talk to you I have to IM you. I'm not allowed to text you when we're apart too much or you get too tired of me. If I try to compliment you, you give me a weird look and you say okay? Or thanks? If I try to kiss or hug you more than twice a day you get annoyed. If I didn't hear you say I love you and I say it again you get mad at me. If I ask if you're ok more than once I get in trouble. I can't talk to anyone but your sister about our problems because you don't want anyone else involved. If I get emotional you just stand there and watch me and are severely uncomfortable if I try to get a hug for comfort. If I yell at ##### I'm not being a good father, so I have to let you yell at her instead. Then you are stressed because you have to do "everything" for her, it's an impossible scenario for me. I've asked you many times to tell me what you want me to do and everytime you say idk but still get mad at me when I do something "wrong". If I give this to you I'm worried you'll either A. Be mad that I'm bringing it up. B. Say how you're an awful wife and shut down from me completely C. Say ok and then we never talk about it again or D. All of the above. When we got married we said our love was unconditional, but this feels like a lot of conditions that I have to meet in order to be at minimum in your good graces, let alone be loved. I understand that you have trauma from your mom, I understand that you don't want to have sex anymore because of that trauma and I am SO GLAD that you are going to therapy to better yourself. But it feels like a lot of the time you're the only one that matters in this marriage. I understand you force yourself to have sex with me once or twice a month for me but we split the bills, we split the housework (I understand it was not like that with chores before but it is now). It doesn't feel like you want me as your husband and it barely feels like you want me as a friend. It causes me nothing but pain because I love you so much and I just want to make you happy. But I have no idea what to do anymore and it doesn't feel like this marriage is a partnership, it feels like it's a hassle for you.