“I can’t go to a therapist…I don’t want to hear how shitty I am”

So you can make me feel like shit because you don’t want to mature and work on yourself? I can’t handle the fact that you black out when you have a rage or heated argument. You don’t remember anything you say or do to me, and I remember every detail. Reliving through the trauma of the event while going over what you said or how you treated a situation, is gutting. Even years later. You act like everything’s fine, while I’m reeling from your actions moments ago. Walking on eggshells so you don’t erupt. Just going silent during situations, as to not set you off in a public setting, again. Knowing every “fun outing” turns into an argument, not having any fun. You cross your arms and mope and complain about being out.

I can’t heal in the environment that broke me. And all I feel is broken around you.