Right, where do I begin ? I mainly just want to apologise for the times I let you down or did you wrong. Whether you believe it or not , id never purposely try to hurt you. I regret ever upsetting you! I know that it was my actions and the way I was as a partner that pushed you away. I took too long to open my bottle of past trauma.

My biggest mistake was not telling you about the biggest problem. We both know which one, I was finally able to tell you at the end. Thankyou for being there and listening! You do not realise how much help that brought me. Knowing that you know stops me from falling back into it. Would never want to disappoint you ever again. Even though you aren't around anymore I'll still show you I am making a change for better!

So I guess I am sorry for all the times I hurt you, truly am! I will forever regret not holding you tighter and loving you more! Even though I always had soooo much love for you. I know my ways of showing it was unconventional. Im not like the others, even with the towell.... im sorry, im just me. Thankyou for loving the person i am for as long as you did.

After all, you were the one i choose. We haf just gotten our home. I thought it was forever. To one day marry you so that forever could become real. I never even wanted a relationship. Slowly you changed my mind and my heart reached out to yours. 4 years we shared, it was not always bad though. I still think mostly it was beautiful. Many laughs shared , cries, kisses, chats and everything else alongside it.

Sooo many memories, good and bad! Isn't that part of loving though? Through thick and thin? I just wanted us to change and become better together. I know it's silly of me but there will never be anyone like you EVER. You were my one, you always will Be.

It's time I stop these letters though, finally feeling better. I have written many many letters not only on this account. So its time i stop and focus on myself and my real life.

Thankyou for the most amazing and adventurous 4 years! Sorry for all the bad memories. Just because I will stop these though doesn't mean my brain won't continue to think all of these. Maybe one day you'll read them. Just know the love I have for you was unconditional. It was limitless, it only grows even though I try to minimise it. I don't know why, or know what is wrong with me. Sorry.

I truly am sorry I wasn't enough I am forever sorry I let you down I am sorry I never listened I'm sorry you reached your limits I'm sorry I was too late I'm sorry you broke my heart I'm sorry I broke yours

I'll never be able to say it enough times, sorry.

Forever wishing to hold you one more time 💔