I love you. I do. I love you so deeply and with so much that i could not imagine a life where we did not meet.

It’s platonic.

You are my best friend.

You’ve always, absolutely always been there for me when nobody else cared enough to blink my way. I tell you things about myself that would have other people lock me into a mental hospital. Our conversations are never dull and I find myself comforted by your general existence. We’ve cried on each other, gotten high, stayed up all night , slept over, watched movies, went shopping, went to dinner, we’ve done everything together except for argue.

i can’t remember an argument between us.

That’s what makes it so much harder when you tell me you’re IN love with me. You tell me you’ve longed to hold me in your arms and kiss me- That I was the sole reason you continue to exist, and that you’d wait a million lifetimes if it meant i’d love you back.

You said it’d been since 7th grade, we’re both 21 now, have you been carrying this alone for 9 years?
How do i respond ? I know my heart squeezes so slightly when we text for hours. Saying “ i love you “ and hugging you before i leave to my new town just feels so natural. I almost feel at fault, for not noticing sooner. I know if i was maybe a crueler person that you’d not have wasted so long loving someone who doesn’t feel the same. Or maybe i should not have been so affectionate so carelessly-But with it, im angry.

I’m so angry because why didn’t you tell me sooner ? why did you wait so long before dropping this onto my lap? I was just easing into a happy idea of my friends only being platonic.

So why did you do it ?

I don’t know how to answer you. because i love you. But i’m not IN love with you. and there’s no good way for me to tell you that - not when you’ve handed me your glass heart so confidently in the hopes of not breaking it.

i cherish our friendship so immensely, but now i fear no matter what i say, it’ll be different. I fear i’ve lost my best friend.