Maybe you're wondering why I'm lost in mars? There is a simple answer for that; i was your mars. at least that was the nickname you have me. The reason i am lost is simply because i will never hear that name again. I want to find my way back to my real name. i can no longer live as if i am still in your thoughts, simply because you gave up. You were too scared to feel love for me again. I don't blame you, my demons got the better of us both.

The issue is, i was ready to fight. Not only for myself but for you also. i will never care about others opinions or what they'd say/think. Unfortunately you were always consumed by others input within our relationship; Your biggest flaw. Isn't this fact the main reason we are here in the first place? hearing to much from others instead of speaking to me. A relationship is between two people, me and you.

However as your love faded mine somehow only grew stronger. Despite our flaws I wanted to give it my all, I was willing to sacrifice it all. My love for you was above anything/anyone else! However one cannot fight a war alone. Perfect does not exist. I do not care about your flaws because there was too many good qualities. I much rather focus on the good rather than the bad, It's a shame you could never do the same.

I feel stupid that I sit here typing anyway all this rubbish. I probably don't even make any sense but love never does. To love is to be lost within someone and fight through any obstacles. To love is to fully give oneself to another in hope they will protect, care and support you. To love is to be with you. Nothing else brings me more comfort and warmth. No other makes me feel at home, You were my home. without you i feel homeless, lost and blind. I'm sure one day i will find my forever home, i just wish that was you and i was yours.

All I ever wanted from you was for you to just fight for me the same way I wanted to fight for you. why wouldn't you? When two people want to make it work and push through nothing would stop them. sometimes i just want to scream and shout but i no longer have a voice. My path now is lonely, its time to close the bottle. now i no longer hold hope, giving up is all i can do. i must let you go and give the same way you did with me.

It is time to leave this one sided war, I will now seek a new war. One that will bring back colour to my life: where someone will hold my hand as i hold there's as we create peace within one another.

As i stated, if i can make it 1 day without trying to reach out to you then i can finally do forever.

This was my final stand, i wish you the best, something you always deserved. i hope you still feel my presence even though i am no longer around you my thoughts are always on you.

what i wouldn't do to feel your touch one more time. to see the sparkles of love in those honey orbited pupils. the touch of your lips on mine. the warmth of your skin on mine. The sex, to me that was more than sex, it was an exchange of our love. Not only that it was an exchange of our passion and deep connection. I have never been so passionate with anything in life the same way i was when i could feel your breath on my skin.

you already no all this which is why i write it on here.

Bye boo, you'll forever be in my heart as without you i have no heart. Forever holding hope one day you will realise that those 4 years were worth achieving forever. bye boo, until the universe pulls us together again, or it may not. bye boo.