Not one week. Not even a full day yet. But this ache that I feel is one of the worst feelings.

Do you know just how much it killed me inside to not tell you good morning? Or better yet goodnight last night? My heart and soul ache.

I want to slip back into my vices. But I know that’s a dangerous path, and I know neither of us would forgive me for that. But damn…

Do you truly realize how big of an impact you made on this not so little southern boy? I thought I was big and tough. I thought I could take on the world. And I can… I just wanted you next to me.

I say wanted, but that’s not a fair statement. Because even though I know we’ll never have what I wish we did, I still want you. And you know it.

You know how much I want you. You know just what a hold on my heart you have. And you know how much I’m hurting right now. You know how much I want to reach out to you and tell you that I miss you already.

Maybe that’s what you want from me? Do you want me to break down and beg? Do you want to know that you broke the big strong man? Or do you just not… care?

It’s been less than a day. And no matter what I try, you’re still there. And you know it. I hope you read this. I hope you read the last one. To know what is going on in my head and my heart.