I’m not perfect. Not by any means. I have my faults. I have my past that I don’t talk about. I have my hurts. My woes. My anger’s. I have feelings. No matter how much I want to lock them back in that tiny cracking bottle in my mind, I just can’t when it comes to you.

I can’t tell myself each and every day that things are going to change. I can’t look at pictures of you and will you to change for me. Just like you can’t ask me to change for you. But I did. Not in the forced me kind of way.

No. I changed to be a better person. You made me feel like I was capable of love again. That maybe I’m worth more than just working and sleeping. You were worth it.

You were worth the sleepless nights talking. You were worth the emotional nervousness that I developed. Where I questioned if I was doing well enough by you. Wondering if I was making you feel like the only woman in the world to me.

But I didn’t. Or you wanted me to stop making you feel that way. But you knew.. you knew that would be really difficult for me to do. Because to me… you were what I wanted. As a friend. As a partner. As it all. But I get it. You weren’t ready for that. You weren’t ready for me to make you feel that way.

And I can’t really blame you can I? I can’t lay here in bed wondering why things didn’t turn out different. Because they didn’t. They didn’t turn out the way that I was hopeful for. The hope that got rekindled in my soul. My heart started to melt from how much the flame just grew and grew. I swear I could’ve fought off an ice dragon, or a troll in the dungeon. Maybe even Sauron himself.

But don’t worry. I’m putting a cap on that. I’m trying to show you that I want you however I can take you. Because you just helped me feel… whole again. Like I’ve been missing these puzzle pieces for such a long time… and I know what you’ll say. That I shouldn’t lean on you for that.

And it’s not that I’m leaning on you. More so I’m thankful to you. For showing me that I can be whole again. But now… now those pieces are crumbling in their spots. They’re slowly but surely not feeling good Mr. Stark.

I could go on and on… but I think this is long enough for now.