You’ve become the person I crave the most. I don’t just crave your body. I crave your mind. Your soul. I fell for you like I didn’t even think was possible. Who would have thought that we’d be where we are?

I did. I knew that you wouldn’t stick around. I knew that there would come a time that you’re not interested in me anymore. But that doesn’t change the fact that I think I love you. I hate myself because you’ve gone further and further away from me. I hate that I couldn’t be that exact picture in your mind for a man.

But that doesn’t stop me. The fear. The rejection. The friendship. It doesn’t make me want to run away. I’ve ran for long enough in my life, but you… I want to run to you. I want you to realize just how much I enjoy you.

Seeing your name pop up on my phone every morning, and every night. I can’t express how much that sets my soul aflame. How happy that I am just from seeing your name. Not to mention when work is going crazy for me… you’re right there. And I… love it.

I love you. But you don’t feel anywhere close to the same about me. And I’m scared that you’re going to read this. I’m scared of what your reaction would be if you read it. I say that, but I know. I know for a fact that you’d cut me out like a bad appendix. And I hate that thought…

So I grit my teeth. And I hold it in. Because I’d rather hold in these feelings, than lose you.