The truth is I have a hard time picturing my life without you, but I am having a harder time accepting that you could do this, this particular way to someone you love so deeply. When you said I don't love myself because I said my time with you was the happiest I've ever been, that makes no sense. I've lived 26 or some odd year before we met. Just because I enjoyed my time spent with you rather than anyone else I have thus far, doesn't mean I don't love myself. I just really enjoyed our time. But the truth is everyone always leaves. I told you that shortly after we first exchanged I love yous. I asked you not to leave me and if you ever had to if you could do it with elegance and gentleness. Neither one of us is innocent or strictly guilty. Noone cheated. There was no abuse. So I still struggle to see why there could be no line of communication drawn, like we had so many times before. Idk. Honestly I'm not going to write much more. Atleast for now. Everything I'm saying I'm basically saying to myself or other people. And the one person I need and even want to talk to , needs her space. I can't argue with that logic. I asked for space almost every night we ever had a disagreement or fight. Then you did on that fateful night and you just couldn't come lay with me. Just not go to bed in separate rooms. I get it. It was like something snapped, role reversal I couldn't leave you alone this time. Or the what week and a half here after. It's ok. Again maybe we just ran our race and life does go on. Trust me. Again 26 odd years before we linked up. And I do have the memories of us and hopefully I've learned a bit from our relationship. Hopefully you did too and don't look back with anger. I know ill do some great things. Sure never being the president or nothing but who wants that shit anyway. I know you will too once you figure out what you want from life. I'm just really sorry we won't be doing those things together. Hopefully, with some time we can both encourage each other from afar. Right now I think our energies are still too intertwined and mixed emotions, so for now , after I collect my stuff on Tuesday, I believe our ways should part. I don't know how else to move forward but without you at this point, and as I said, it is for the best.