To hell with it. I want to find my person. Iām ready to start a life with someone and kick ass together, support each other. Is it so bad to want a best friend? Hereās me/my list if anyoneās looking for me too, if not pay this post no mind. Iām going to get some of the big stuff out of the way first.
-Staunchly agnostic. This will offend some people but I hate religion. Letās talk about how much religion damages the world together! (Mostly the misogynistic Abrahamic ones; I donāt have anything against Wicca and the like.)
-If this statement resonates with you: āIt would be a wonderful world if every child were raised to be allowed to enjoy what they want to without gender expectations and roles being imposed upon them,ā then youāre probably someone Iād really like to get to know. I donāt care for gendered expectations/roles/behaviors since they harm both women and men (E.g. āwomen are emotionalā or āmen shouldnāt cryā). That being said, Iām a feminist. Itās something I feel passionate about, and I want to meet another person to be able to discuss it with! Where were you when Roe v Wade was overturned?
-Attracted to cis women and cis men my age or a bit older. Iām 25. I've mostly dated men, the women I've fallen for were either straight or one of us was taken.
-Not a picky eater and wouldnāt end up in a happy relationship with one, since I enjoy sharing new food experiences and have a passion for healthy food. Don't get me wrong, I'll eat unhealthy food and have sugar kicks, just don't want to live off of it.
-Open-minded, generally a ālive and let liveā attitude, except for when it comes to ignoring basic human rights.
-Little rapid fire here: I enjoy cooking/baking (and I'm making pickles for the first time), singing/music, and video games on occasion (I really love playing games together). I live a bit of a slow life and wouldnāt mind speeding up a little. Iāve been trying to learn to play the piano on and off. I have a favorite trash reality tv show that Iād love to watch with a best friend. I generally like to be silly and giggle lol. I have 2 small, cute dogs who Iām so proud of for their individual growths and personalities since Iāve had them, and Iād want someone who came into our little family to love them and feel their love. Unfortunately Iām allergic to cats, although I still risk the itchies when I see one. One of the cats from my childhood of over 15 years still lives in the neighborhood, I visit her from time to time.
-If you know about MBTI, Iām an INFJ. I don't believe people have just one soulmate, but mine would probably be an INFJ or ENFJ, or another xNFx. (xSTx and xSFx types, and likewise people with avoidant personalities, aren't for me.) Iām an idealist by nature, so I donāt get on well with people who get annoyed by that; there are things that SHOULD be different. My blind spot is that sometimes I can get caught up in plans and lag on the execution, so I've always appreciated people who are a little more go-getter than me who complement that part. As a person, I think my regular demeanor is solemn and kind (at least, I try to be). I can best describe how I am as the feeling I get from Edgar Allan Poe's works or when I hear Frederic Chopinās music, if you know of them or if that makes any sense. I feel most comfortable with someone who can have both serious and lighthearted discussions, not just one or the other.
-I have a degree and Iām getting another (slowly), and I believe education is important. However, like many, I donāt have it all together. Lots of plans and goals, but not quite together yet. I have health problems Iām trying to get treatment for, some solvable and some not, and Iām going to go back to therapy. For these reasons, Iām a fencesitter. Although I like kids in general other than the grossness, I think I would have to see where life and health is in the next couple of years, because it's very important to me to be a good parent if I ever became one. I think it's something to weigh heavily in general. Iām probably never going to be perfect, but I try hard to improve myself and my thinking patterns often and hey what else can ya do. I used to think I wasnāt normal, but nowadays I think Iām actually doing alright.
-Being sensitive and thoughtful comes with being emotional at times, and I want to be with someone who appreciates the whole package and I can snuggle with. Likewise, I want to be there for my person, give them undivided attention and be there for each other when the other is weak. Iāve been through an unreasonable amount in my short time on this earth. Itās not something I try to focus on or want to trauma-dump about, but itād be nice to be with someone whoās gone through big ordeals as well, and just try to pick up the pieces as best we can together, one day at a time. Especially someone else who understands narcissistic abuse, as itās a special type. In any case, maybe we can find refuge in each other and build that āchosen familyā people always talk about.
-Watching explicit videos of others is generally a dealbreaker once I get serious with someone.
-I'm a private person, so I don't usually post on social media.
-Experienced in relationships. Iāve partially refined the art of de-escalation and talking things through directly. So Iām not a good fit for someone whoās too inexperienced/immature, tends to escalate arguments, is passive-aggressive, or deals with relationship issues by avoidance or pushing someone away. The stress from the aforementioned is what led to my health issues in the first place, so I'm okay with being single if there's no other option than that lol.
-I put effort into my style/looks and Iām told Iām attractive. No pressure to be perfect or shallow by any means, and I don't care about height or skin color or anything like that, just that you like to dress nicely for fun outings and try to care for yourself like I do. Not going to complain about not dressing up for the grocery store or anything.
-I donāt watch anime and couldnāt date someone who does. I put this because a lot of people seem to watch it. But the way anime typically portrays women, I canāt support that. Have some Studio Ghibli movies on my list, though, since theyāre classics and seem somewhat wholesome from what I can remember.
This has probably narrowed down most of who's reading. Posting this is probably a fever dream at best. But for anyone whoās still here:
-I envision someone moving in with me (or I can move in with them), and we could decorate, do crafts (WitchesVsPatriarchy type crafts anyone?!), start a business together, and/or you work and we save while I go to school and we spend our afternoons togetherā¦ It's not much, but it's a cute place. And of course not too fast, I do take things slow until I'm certain, but thatās a goal. Letās make the world our oyster? I fully plan on sharing what I have with someone who will share with me, too. I want to and am capable of building a life with someone; I want the special person (people?) who read to this point to know I want to share that kind of love/life.
-I look young for my age. I thought a warning would be appropriate since some people have a different image in mind for 25. I saw a 20-year-old the other day who looked much older than me and thought for a moment I may be in the Twilight Zone.
-Finally, I have plans for moving to Europe late 2024 or 2025 with citizenship (Iām learning that specific language as well). I donāt want to be solely used as an escape ticket, but letās get the hell out of here! (USA) If you're already in Europe, great! Let's try to meet when I visit early 2024. For the record, I'm an American who's had European friends/influence in my life.
-Yeah Iām kind of writing all of this out like Iām arranging a marriage and like Iām actually going to get any replies, laying all my stuff out in the open here.
-Despite excitedly sharing all my wants and needs, of course growing anything will take time and I hope to enjoy it. Thatās how you know when itās real, when you enjoy the journey and not just the destination (said as someone who normally always tries to get to the destination asap).
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