Original post here

I'm only three years late but wanted to update this post.

I reached out to the IRS who, after several phone calls and hours on hold, told me nothing could be done and to just pay up. I called one more time and a much nicer agent told me more kindly that nothing could be done unless I could get my mother to admit to withdrawing the money in writing.

I told her that if she just told the truth, admitted it to me and the IRS and wrote the letter, I would forgive her and we could put it behind us. She refused. I told her to not contact me again until she was ready to stop blaming others and admit what she had done.

A few (blissfully calm) weeks later she called me and apologized. She wrote a handwritten letter stating she withdrew the money without my knowledge and none of the proceeds went towards my care. I wrote my own letter explaining that I was already an adult immigrating to another country at the time of the withdrawal, and attached a photocopy of my passport stamps, an affidavit that I had never lived at the address the cheque was sent to, and the receipt of my immigration application which was dated prior to the withdrawal. I asked that the tax liability be transferred to my mother and included her SS number which she signed off on.

The IRS sent me a letter back stating that the taxes owing would be issued under my mother's name. Because she was a jobless crack addict, her income was under the federal threshold and she did not need to pay anything due to how low her income was that year. Disaster averted.

For those curious, no, I never got the money back and decided not to pursue it. I didn't know it existed before the IRS contacted me, and didn't feel it was in anyone's best interest to force the issue knowing that I'd never get repaid anyways. Mom quit crack a year or two back, but still battles her demons in the form of alcoholism. Our relationship has slightly improved. Also, I'm a woman (most comments assumed I was male). The end.