For context:

I live in NYC, and I am part of the special education system, I am also in a residential program because of it.

The children at the school tend to abuse all sorts of substances, they make the environment unbearable, when it comes to everything from scent to noise, too much stimulation, not to mention all the fights and bullying, I occasionally wind up on the receiving end.

I have been doing better as of late, as well as I can, unfortunately, this was not to last, as I got tired of it all, and have become more irrtitable as of late thanks to that, I wind up on the receiving end of the bullying, I tried reporting it, I tried talking to them about resolving it, they essentially handwaved the matter and let joker back out of his cage like batman, the bullies never received anything more than “pep talk”, unless they do something that would put the school in the spotlight.

I grew desperate for a solution, as the authorities didn’t provide any, and instead attempted to gaslight me into thinking I need to “control myself”, the social worker assigned to me at school claims that he gave me “tools” to use, but he would not even bother to listen to the fact that “deep breathing” and “walking away” are not permanent solutions and nor are they as useful as he advertised, especially when hallway staff keeps on asking you to go back to class.

I was getting pretty close to snapping, fine, since plain dialogue didn’t work, I decided to step it up a notch and send an email, which they later claimed to be ‘threatening’ and ‘violent’, the words I used weren’t pretty, they insulted the target audience, but I never did anything beyond making references to the movie “les miserables”, and maybe use a metaphor that can be interpreted wrongly without context, I will send a copy a and paste of the emails, and since reddit is being uncooperative, not allowing me to scroll up without closing the keyboard, I should tell you here I sent several emails, you can ask for screenshots and copy pastes whenever.

It was already quite tiring and loathsome. To deal with, I could hardly even speak to anyone with how drained I tend to be, then: this happened.

I live in the residential on weekdays, I was put there, transfered from home as I wasn’t attending the previous (also sped) school.

And look, I asked for days off, they said no, the bus comes early and I have no time for anything anymore, I play video games as a means of escape, but it all eats into the time, besides, it was either that or get harrassed with nobody doing anything about it, and hey, it’s true, nobody would listen, nobody made any real effort to help at all.

So they sent me there, into my current residential placement.

I got tired of them making the same things happen again and again, despite how stupid it was, how it harmed everyone involved.

I even got into a fight a couple days ago, most those kids got was a time out, they were shooting rubber band guns towards the front seat, and a few at my neck, just for shits and giggles, i knew they weren’t going to be punished in any manner that would dissuade them from doing this again, they even just finished bullying a girl to tears some moments ago ffs!

I walked up to one of them and they immediately fought me, I wanted them to stop, I only wanted to knee the guy in the balls before yelling at him to never do it again as I had enough of their abuse.

I went home still exhausted and pissed, I wanted to rest, I had enough, but there was only three days and they’d tell me to fuck off regardless of what I said, I was considering complying with this but the memory was still fresh in my mind, so I told them, no.

I told the middle managers, the directors of the residential program to tell their higher ups that I don’t appreciate the fact that they’re doing all that they’re doing, told them essentially to fuck off.

I did not insult the middle managers themselves, but god.

They then lied to the cops about me posessing a firearm, the closest thing I had resembling to one was an adjustable grip strength trainer I bought from amazon, I only carried it by the hip because the pants I most commonly wear, cqr sappers, had a loop that made it convenient, I even made it clear verbally to everyone, told everyone who asked and even when they didn’t, that it wasn’t a gun, they knew this.

I am now in a hospital and they’re gonna attempt to pick me up, I don’t want to return after all that they’ve done.

I was also trying to get a csc meeting to go home too, so them doing this only made things worse for me.