I am and active duty service member. I had a child out of wedlock with a girl I was hooking up with. After 3 years of back and forth I finally decided that we will never have an amicable relationship. I am finally in a stable physical position ( My last base kept pushing my PCS date back and I never knew how long I was actually going to be there) and a decent financial position were I feel comfortable enough to file with the courts for joint custody/ visitation. She is extremely high conflict - I am filling out court documents and she has declined to give me her and my child's current physical address which I need in order to answer question 3 on the custody complaint form. Is there anything I can do ?

Important notes:

I am not on the birth certificate I was deployed when the baby was born. She has declined to add me to the birth certificate via a notarized affidavit 2x - Parentage has not been established ( yes i am planning on asking for a paternity test through the court)

I am not on child support. I currently send a little under $500 a month for 'child support' - should I continue to do this? should I stop sending money until there is a court order ?

I have her former physical address and current mailing address (they are the same)

already looked up voter registration records and she has not updated her address

submitting a form USPS but i don't think the has changed mailing address as she still receives her mail at her parents/ former house

We live in different states and I am unsure how a custody plan would work. If anyone has experience with custody plans with long distance parents I would appreciate any input.