or some background, my son is 16 and has always been pretty athletic. He plays football and swims competitively, and he’s been doing both for years.

Earlier in the year, his coach told him he needed to gain weight—a lot of weight—like 40 pounds. The idea was to get him up to 200 pounds for this season. Now, my son, being the rule-follower and total team player that he is (plus, he can eat like no one else), didn’t question it and just went for it. The problem is, I had no idea this was happening, and it wasn’t until recently that I realized just how extreme the coach’s advice actually was.

Apparently, the coach gave him a whole list of “rules” to follow to pack on the weight quickly. We're talking calorie goals every day, specific fast food orders to hit those numbers (hello, McDonald's), drinking more soda (which we don't usually keep much of in the house), and even ordering supplements online. Now it makes sense why boxes of Boost started showing up on our doorstep out of nowhere! And to top it all off, the coach told him to cut back on cardio—including swimming, which is something he’s always loved.

I didn’t really put all the pieces together until later, but now, looking back at this summer, it’s so obvious. He wasn't running as much, and his swimming practically stopped, which was strange for him. And the food… it went from the usual healthy stuff to fast food galore. But honestly, I didn’t think much of it at the time. I just thought it was him being a lazy teenager.

Fast forward to now, and I can definitely see the difference. He’s already put on 35 pounds, and it shows. I hate to say this, but his stomach is starting to look like his dad’s. And he’s never had a weight problem before! He’s always been fit and active, so this feels like wrong. And I can’t help but worry this is setting him up for bigger problems later on.

I asked him what was going on, and to his credit, he was pretty upfront about it. He explained the coach’s plan, and he doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here feeling so guilty for not catching on sooner, and also furious at his coach for encouraging this. Both my son and my husband acted like I was overreacting. Apparently, my husband knew about it all along and was quietly supporting it! They both say I don’t “get it” because I’m more into swimming than football.

Husband and son both say I'm majorly overreacting, don't understand how football works these days, and coach has been extraordinarily unhelpful.

TL;DR: My son’s coach is pushing him to gain a ton of weight, and I’m not sure what to do next