My husband and I have been separated ( not legally ) since July 25th of this year. It was very difficult to get him out of the house during many months of verbal and psychological abuse. Yesterday, our shared cat that has been under my care since he left, was diagnosed with cancer. I want to give him a few days to see her but absolutely need him to leave on a specific date, because I know he’s going to insist that he wants to stay. I already have to come up with so much money just to cover IOP and individual therapy to help me get through what has happened, and have developed chronic pain ( even went to the ER ) from the daily stress I endured.

I want to let him see our cat before she passes, it would make me feel so guilty if I didn’t. I also recognize I don’t have the mental and physical spoons to let him come here and harass me into letting him stay or to have that conversation over and over. I only have so much energy left. Can I somehow make a contract for this- for him to leave on a particular date and to not insist on certain topics? It may sound ridiculous, but the way he uses verbal abuse when I say no is something I can no longer endure. It’s the only way I can ensure my safety, be it my mental health, physical health, and the rental I live in has only ever been paid by me and is under my name. I believe if I called the police to have him removed if something bad happened, they can deny doing anything because he still has one or two belongings here.

Any insight?

EDIT: Just to be clear- I am more concerned about the date of him being out of the house than his ability to discuss something. I know one is more extreme than the other, I could stay somewhere else if he starts arguments about wanting to stay, but if he refuses to leave, that’s where I am lost.