For Context to the situation I (27M) Married my Ex wife (27F) Last year after being together for about 6 years. We separated after a little under 6 months of marriage. She is an attorney (although her license is currently suspended for some sort of administrative reason). During her last year of Law School, two Bar exams and her first 6 months as a licensed attorney she developed a consistently worsening drug addiction. This exacerbated some existing mental health issues, which made our relationship very difficult and her ability to function nearly zero. I was trying my best to be supportive and caring, but couldn’t ignore that her drug use was causing her problems. She became very volatile, violent, and began to resent me as I pushed for her to get sober. I found out she had been cheating on me with several people and decided that I was done. I wasn’t a perfect person, but I really did my best given the circumstances and was always trying to help her be the happiest and healthiest person I could.

After a few days of her crying, swearing she’ll change, never think to cheat again, I found out she was still cheating. I then confirmed to her that our relationship was in fact over and she needed to move on. Side note: I’m doing so much better now as I didn’t realize the emotional toll that being in such a volatile and hostile relationship had on me. She began to threaten me in text messages as to how she could make this impossible for me, bankrupt me, all sorts of physical threats against me and my family, wouldn’t ever let me live a normal life, basically just planning to destroy me. At this point she basically stopped showing up to her work, Told a coworker that I had been abusing her sexually and physically for our entire relationship and then ran off to another state with one of her affair partners. She tried to bring up this story to get me kicked out of my housing, to get me fired from my job, has used it to file a restraining order (unsuccessfully) although she keeps refilling it, to her parents as the reason we separated and to a few other people that I know of. I tried to reason with her throughout the next month, suggesting we file for a summary dissolution as we had no community property nor any reason for spousal support. She Wound up filing for divorce a month later.

So far she has cost me about $40,000 in legal fees, She stole all my savings, broke into my home about 3 months after we separated and stole all of my valuables, stole my dog (which the court finally ordered to be returned just recently). Other than the order on my Dog she has allowed absolutely nothing to be accomplished. She hasn’t filed one document other than her initial request for divorce, refuses to cooperate on anything with my attorney, keeps filing absurd and delusional declarations that are always about 100-200 pages long. She has been harassing my parents, both in a threatening and defamatory manner against me. She threatened the witnesses who were going to testify against her in the restraining order hearing. In summary, she is being about as insane as she could be and at this point its clear her mental health has devolved to a very scary point. She Showed up to our first restraining order hearing with the worst black eye I’ve ever seen and only said she had been in and out of the hospital, at the next restraining order hearing somebody called the court and said she was in the ER and couldn’t make the hearing. This was all after she only tried to have me served at my office (which she knows Im only in for a few hours per day just to embarrass me. The judge dismissed the restraining order, which she refilled the next day and then never attempted to serve me up to the point of the hearing today.

Due to her ongoing games with the restraining order and her at minimum erratic behavior the only hearing that has been held was pertaining to my Dog. Which the Judge order to be returned to me. She then proceeded to berate the Judge in declarations, threaten my attorney and sent a flurry of text messages to my mother about how abusive I was and how she’d make sure that my mother hates me.

There’s more, but i think that summarizes the situation I’m dealing with . Im really hoping for some advice on how to get this done with, I can’t afford to do this anymore she has already taken everything I have, Im not a wealthy person but am fortunate enough to have been able to afford it up to this point. I really just want it to be over, but if possible I’d like to recoup some of the money she has wasted or stolen. Im going into debt to pay for this as of now. I’d really like the defamatory elements to be addressed as well, I never once harmed her nor abused her in any way shape or form, she certainly abused me though. I work in a field where that sort of thing may have long term implications for my career. I have what I think is pretty clear evidence showing that I wasn’t abusive, she was, and a very clear correlation between when I told her our relationship was over (in writing) and when she began to tell her lies. I had my Father reach out to her Father at my attorneys direction, He then fabricated a tessage to her that she filed as a exhibit in one of her declarations, which clearly mischaracterized the nature of their conversation so that route is of no help. I feel lost and honestly don’t know how to move forward. Even though Im wildly relieved to be out of that situation Im constantly anxious and depressed about the ongoing proceedings. I average about 4 hours of sleep per night, I constantly worry about what’s coming next and I don’t know how I’m going to avoid financial destruction. Maybe Im just feeling sorry for myself, but I could really use some advice or suggestions.

Thank you in advance and if there’s any additional information needed ill do my best to provide it.