On my longest quit after daily smoking for 10 years and it feels like it's only getting harder to abstain. When I'm out, the main thing I want to do is just get hiiiiiiigh. I don't think I've done a great job of working on the things that drive my addiction, either, as I've basically replaced it with drinking more, obsessive phone time, TikTok, and other compulsions like porn and Tinder. Wherever my 'balanced life' lives, I'm not there and kind of don't know how to get there. Or, I have a feeling that it's the usual combination of meditation, exercise, reading, and trying to pick up hobbies, and I'm definitely not doing any of that, so it's not hard to imagine why I still don't feel great. I am in therapy, though it's every six weeks, and remain interested in all the self-help literature that sticks. I'm working full-time, and in school too.

I hoped, at least, my cravings would be less by now, but they're not. It actually does help to use my 'I Am Sober' app to recommit to sobriety each day, so I've started doing that again, but a part of me wants to lose the battle and just go back to getting high. Like, obviously it was worse, and led nowhere, but sobriety feels lame sometimes too. Is the answer 'exercise, etc. or forget about it'? Is that the only path out? Or just white-knuckle the cravings?