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Fuuuuuck
The ol' depressione is starting to hit hard. I've relied on cannabis as my self medication my whole adult life. I got the depressions, I got em bad.
N I know it's withdrawals but also it's depression. I was diagnosed and prescribed medication as a young adolescent, but I chose the route of drug abuse instead.
Now I'm pretty sober, and I've been off the cannabis for 4.4 days but fuck if I haven't been feeling that fucking emptiness. Shit.
I don't expect anything from the internet. I mean it'd be nice, I'm always open to some unexpected miracle. But let's be real. And this isn't a please help me post.
It's just a habit I'm trying out, posting here each night. It's like a journal entry I guess.
But I'm fucking done with weed so, one way or another, I'm moving on with my life. Whatever that's gonna be. It might even end up darker than the weed chapter, but im done as fuck with the weed chapter. It's boring.
I need change I need to grow. Also my brain is a fucking bitch. Fuck. I wish I wasn't all fucked up.
One more time: hip hip hooray, I did not smoke todayyyyy
Thank you ☺️ I appreciate the thoughts. I made it eight months about eight years ago but I can hardly remember what that was like. I'm stoked to get there though. Today was a pretty good day compared to yesterday. I did some work around the house, stayed busy, it was good.
Congrats on day 46!
Thank you, I appreciate the longer response. That's great you've passed a month up. Im taking walks, maybe I should look into other things like yoga, maybe even lifting weights. And I couldn't agree more, the self medication has to cease if I'm ever going to have any hope of unraveling my mental/emotional knots. I believe that, and I'm not turning back again. I recognize the solidity of my decision just like I did with alcohol two years ago. We will make it. I wish you great healing with your heart, and ankle. Happy to hear you're feeling your head clear today.
You're right. I think I'll chop some firewood
Yep we got it, it's rough but yeah. This experience in itself may be a helpful study in learning some detachment? Idk, good luck out there ❤️
I feel embarrassed going in there too, but I think I'm gonna give it a shot. Thank you so much, lots of love ❤️
It's exciting to think about that future liberated time ❤️
Thank you. Gladly I have wonderful people in my life to help support me. I hope you do too.
Ha, that's good I like that. Thank you 🙏
Thank you, I'm looking forward to having that serious time behind me. I just listened to a song called I'm only getting started 😁
I will. Maybe I'll paddle my kayak a little bit.
Yep one day at a time. Thanks. Feeling alright atm
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You're right. And I'm committed in my spirit. Gotta let the mental waves come and go