Been lurking for a short while, really deliberating whether it's time to stop for good or not. I'm a mid-thirties, daily heavy user. My tolerance was crazy high a few weeks ago as I cut down on my usage for various reasons. I realized after my contact AGAIN left me high (not at all) and dry after needing to re-up that I can't do this anymore. Been smoking for over 8 years now (started in college) after years of turning my nose up from offers to smoke with friends. Once I started smoking, I felt fantastic, as I've always struggled with a high amount of general anxiety my entire life. This, I believe, is part of the reason why I haven't been able to quit yet. The other is due to some medical conditions that are helped immensely by smoking (i.e. super bad cramps that take me out of LIFE for at least three days each month). Pain pills always end up making me so sick to my stomach, it's hard to keep them down. I do live in a MMJ state, but my condition(s) haven't been included on the official list to obtain MMJ.

I am expecting my contact to get back to me in the next few days, but like I said - I can't do this anymore. I'm trying to stay strong, but I am already feeling super sick, which I know is to be expected. Also, I know it doesn't matter, but for the record I am a successful, degreed individual who works in the business world. It was possible to smoke a small amount over the weekend and still be completely fine and intelligent enough through the week, but I cannot only smoke that small amount and be satisfied or as pain-free as most people my age are. Thanks to this sub, I feel like I can do this and ignore my contact. I'm ashamed to admit that I would not be strong enough to throw out any green I had right now. Being completely out is probably the best thing for me right now, even if I feel like absolute, total shit rn, since this is Day 1 for me. Thanks for reading (if you got this far!) and I'm wishing some strength and good thoughts to everyone struggling today!