I get tomorrow is 4/20 and the urge to smoke is there but at the same time I just went to find the only item I have of worth left and it was a pair of old beats that I pawned for $20 just so I can have a little bit of gas to try and Instacart to come up with some cash. Ironically I’ve been sitting in this parking lot for an hour now and no orders yet. Maybe if I didn’t get addicted to weed and lose my previous job I’d be able to afford rent. Maybe if I didn’t get addicted to weed I’d have money right now for food and not be food insecure. This sucks. I feel awful and I’m reminded as to why it’s not fucking worth it to take another hit. I feel like a straight up loser right now.