I started smoking at 13 and have been a chronic user since 17, I’m 30 now. The longest I have gone without smoking since I was 13 has been 2 months and it happened only a few times. (My theory is that it takes 2 months for my body to be totally clear of thc and over that time the thc slowly releases from my fat cells giving me a ‘fix’ and so I get to urge once the real quitting begins.

I had a rough childhood and have traumas from it. When I was young and found weed it seemed to help me cope with what actually was a rough situation. But I didn’t give it up after I moved out. I have made great strides in my healing journey but it was a lot to deal with and used weed to mask.

I remember having social anxiety from a young age and weed has always made it worse. Lately I’ve been examining what really matters in my life and having a vibrant social life is more important to me. And to have real friends that don’t just seem like ‘smoke buddies’ but real quality friends to be there for me in the next grand chapter of my life. When I am stoned I have no drive to talk to people and it even feels overstimulating to do so. But I love people and want more of them in my life. I feel like people assume that I’m a shy person when really I was just stoned every time they saw me. It seems childish to me now to trade being a real functioning social human for being ‘medicated’

I have a lot of hobbies and am pursuing my passions and just always get high before starting my work flow. And oh my god now that I’m older I just don’t function on weed the same. I know that I would get so much more done if I was sober and feel the natural highs from true satisfaction, but it’s just a bad habit that I need to get high first to ‘get in the flow’. Now I’m seeing the actual progress that I have made and comparing it to the progress I could have made.

Weed when over used is just a mask. It doesn’t make anything better. I use weed to mask the loneliness that weed helped cause.

The true satisfaction of accomplishing my goals and having real genuine people in my life is the superior high. It’s got to be.