Hi everyone! I’m going to ramble a bit….

I’m 10 days sober after smoking pretty much everyday for 2 years. (I am 20 years old) I feel great and my life has improved in so many ways!!!

I don’t have the urge to smoke most of the time and even when offered- I’ve said no. I’m in a really good place right now with it- of course I miss it, but I’m lucky that I have the stability that I do.

However, it’s hard to not think about when I’m going to smoke again. Even if it’s years from now, it’s something that’s hard to not look forward to.

I honestly see myself smoking again in the future- but with a healthy relationship. (As everyone says haha) I’ve learned a lot from my time being addicted and don’t ever want to go back to that. I never went to be a stoner like I was before- but I want to be able to use it medically for my period or every once and a while with friends. I just don’t know when I can.

I don’t want to smoke for a long time- and when I do return whenever that is I only plan on things that won’t give me an instant release such as edibles.
I know this isn’t healthy to think about, even though I’m not acting on it and don’t plan on it at all.

Basically- how do you deal with the thoughts about smoking again?? I’m really grateful that I am in a place that I won’t be smoking for a long long while- but how will I know when I’m ready? Will I ever know?

I know it’s super early on and I have a long long time to go before I ever consider getting high- but it’s just a hard adjustment to make. I also know this could totally be my brain just saying I want weed I want weed (which I won’t act on) but idk— the thoughts are still there and I’m trying to give my brain something to think about. (Hard when there is no boundaries)

This is very all over the place but if anyone has any thoughts or insight that would be very appreciated <3