Hello all. I'm having a bit of a downer day today. I'm 474 days sober today (had to look that up), and I want to give some space and recognition to the thoughts inside of me that are probably not helpful to keeping my success rate in tact. I'm constantly trying to tell myself how much weed has held me back which is definitely true, but there's also a glimmer of a thought in me about how getting high used to help me become excited about life especially on days where I was feeling depressed. It was certainly a cheat code for me in some instances and I miss being able to rely on it to pick me up. So far I have yet to find something that can affect me the way getting high did in these moments. I play my guitar and sing more now that I quit but it still feels inadequate.

This thought is not enough to get me to give up on my sober streak. The length of the streak is really motivating to me but I miss parts of the being high lifestyle today and wanted to share my struggles. All the positives about quitting are still prevalent, it's just difficult to focus on them today.

In the past, I've tried to just stuff down these feelings and ignore them, but I feel like maybe giving them some time of day might be healthier. I don't know. Hope everyone is doing well today. Thanks for reading!