Speaking as someone who has never been mathematically inclined, I am feeling a lot of anxiety over taking Calculus 3 this fall. I received a B in Precalculus, a C in Calculus 1, an A in Calculus 2, and an A in Discrete Math. Every single time I have invested countless hours into not only studying the subject material, but also tackling my shortcomings in Trig and Algebra.

With all this being said, every single math course I have taken in the past 3 years has started with me feeling like I have little to no knowledge of the prerequisite courses. I frequent this subreddit and have used virtually every online resource suggested here (Paul online math notes, Professor Leonard, Desmos, etc.). These resources have been very helpful, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't possess the knowledge nor mathematical maturity that is expected of me at this stage.

In each math class I have taken, I have applied a brute force technique in grinding out as many practice problems I can in order to better understand the subject material. I do this so I can essentially handle harder exam problems in the future, but also to catch up with the rest of the class (much like how programmers grind out leet code questions to prepare for coding interviews). This is contrary to my peers who are able to not only pick up the material fairly quickly, but also understand the bigger picture enough in order to form abstract conclusions to challenging problems.

At this point in my education, I'm wondering if anything I am learning in mathematics will ever 'click' or if it will just continue to be a game of catch up. I fear for the latter as that would put me at the mercy of my professors when it comes to my grades (which is something that concerns me greatly as I would like to pursue grad school in the future). Is this a matter of me simply not directing my mental energy to the important aspects of my mathematical studies such as theory opposed to direct problem solving? Are there any resources that tackle this problem specifically?

Perhaps I am ranting out of anxiety, but I also believe that this feeling isn't exclusive to me. Thank you to anyone taking the time to read this.