32 years old, Male, here. I struggled a lot as a kid:

1.) Struggled with my sexuality

2.) Didn't get much love and affection from my parents

3.) Was bullied

I learned about manifestation, creating our reality with our thoughts and beliefs all that just around the time pandemic started and it all made sense to me. My entire life made sense. These core thoughts I had since I was a kid - "I'm not loved" "I'm not like everyone else" " I have no friends" have been my core dominant thoughts my entire life.

I struggled with loneliness, finding a good friendship group pretty much my entire life. I never had a best friend, never had a serious relationship, dont have a friend group to go out with me.

I reach out to people to hang out with but they seem to always have other plans and only reach out to me when they have nothing to do. Basically I'm their PLAN B friend.

How can I change this? What do i have to tell my brain in order to believe that I AM in healthy relationships, etc?

I know all of this stems from childhood and how I looked at myself and just as I thought I was ready to control my mind, it keeps coming back and these thoughts of loneliness keep coming in.

Thoughts and advice please :)