In 2013, I unceremoniously ended things with my college partner. I truly can’t remember what caused the split (it may have been the fact that he didn’t let me move in with him right away after college and I was offended), but it was most likely my 23-year-old naïveté. We were lovely together throughout college, and he came from a great background that would’ve kept me in comfort for all of my days. I didn’t think about him twice for about 7 or 8 years, and in that time he’s gotten married (to the woman he dated after we split). I recently met up with him and his wife for dinner, and while I don’t feel any physical attraction to him, I can’t help but wonder how much easier my life would be (and how much wealthier I would be now) had I stayed in the relationship. I feel like I chose a decade of struggle and self-reliance over simply marrying him and becoming very well off.

In that decade, I’ve secured my dream job, and I love my life. Mind you, I currently have a lovely, gorgeous, brilliant partner that I’m seeing, but I feel like my limiting beliefs in my 20s kept me from going full force with that old relationship. Last night I dreamt of this ex partner. We were sitting at a table, chatting idly, and there was no chemistry. Almost like I was talking to a blank wall. I’m wondering if this is my subconscious’s way of telling me I didn’t miss out on anything and to remain happy and grateful for what I do have. Any thoughts would be appreciated. I know we attract what we are ready for—I just worry that I pushed away something that may have been valuable