So I am in my 20s, living in the same town as the guy who I’ve had a crush on for years. We both moved from the same and to the same city for college, though we are a couple years apart in age.

I met him on the second day of freshman year while doing an icebreaker activity in an art class that the teacher was having us do. He was the last person that I “landed on” and the very instant I looked at him in the eyes, I felt the gears within me start going. Some switch happened and I knew that the same was happening for him. We started talking and we couldn’t take our eyes off of each other. It’s like an invisible string formed that connected us. I had really spaced out teeth with braces on, something I felt very uncomfortable about, and he commented on them, telling me that he liked them and that I should take the braces off. This resonated with me.

Whatever this was, it has been on my mind for 6 years. We never talked again for the duration of that semester, but we would constantly stare at each other. I felt so completely drawn to him. It felt like recognizing a long lost relative, mixed with being completely 100% attracted to somebody.

A couple years go by, he moves towns for college and I am still in high school. I get this urge one day to just reach out to him and tell him how much that conversation meant to me and what I felt. He matched me with the same energy and he was happy that I reached out.

From then on, we would talk every now and then, talking about meeting up but never actually doing it. We would have some pretty great conversations, but they were always scattered. I’d have dreams of him frequently and I’d think about him a lot.

Life circumstances made it so that we never ended up seeing each other. He had a long term girlfriend and I had a boyfriend or two while all of this was happening (I’m polyamorous and most people don’t know).

UP UNTIL A couple months ago, I got a random notification on my phone with his name. It spooked the hell out of me because I had just been thinking about him. He would rarely just randomly text me like that, and every time that he did, I was thinking about him.

I’ve definitely manifested him. I think....

He ended up telling me that he wanted to meet up with me and talk because I was special to him and that he didn’t have many people to talk to about his current situation.

We ended up hanging out twice actually, the first time was a bit awkward and the second time we kissed. It was one of the best kisses I have ever had and it felt exactly how it did when I dreamt about it. This happened about a month ago however and things have felt sort of off. We haven’t seen each other since and recent weeks we just haven’t talked much. I feel like I might’ve scared him off being that I am polyamorous and have a boyfriend, but he never seemed to think that was weird, he even told me that that was really cool.

He’s told me that he wants to kiss me more, and that he likes me a lot and wants to see me and do things with me, but those were words said two months ago. Is this just a lesson or is there more to be experienced with this person? I can’t seem to let go of the fact that soooo many synchronicities have taken place with him and that I got to kiss the biggest crush I have ever had. There’s something else going on, just don’t know what it is. Anyways, sorry for the long post, just wanted to air this out and maybe get some perspective.