I've known about the law for an embarrassingly long amount of time, it's been years. Yet I feel so stuck in my current situation. I know this isn't a therapy sub, but I'm asking for advice from anyone that has been able to come out of a feeling like this.

I've been ghosted a lot in the past, but recently I've been ghosted four different times after talking to them for days or weeks. Joking with one another, really getting to know one another, talking about the future, then getting ghosted and unmatched days before the date. In one case this happened after a date and we had another scheduled. I'm so confused and honestly frustrated. It's driving me crazy and really affecting my self esteem. It's not like I ever said anything weird or creepy. This all just came out of nowhere. It's like the universe or God is playing a sick joke on me. I've accepted that I have an anxious attachment style, so it definitely hurts a lot and all these have sent me into a spiral the past week. Those of you that have it will understand. So this makes it hard to take time to breathe, meditate, and try to create the opposite.

I have such a weird self concept. Sometimes I think I'm kind of attractive, other times I think I'm not, but deep down I still know that I'm a catch. It depends on the day, but on good days I know I'm such great long-term partner material and such a fun, romantic and thoughtful partner that's so interesting. I have an SP in mind, but I've been wanting to date others. I'm in therapy and starting medication again soon, yet I still feel so unbelievably stuck. I don't even know where to start for my self concept. I want dates, I want to be appreciated, sought after, desired, prioritized and whatever else I feel that I can't put into words. Wanting this from anyone Im attracted to feels so general and vague that I don't know what to focus on the feeling of.

This ended up being a lot longer than I meant for it to be. I really appreciate anyone that can take the time to help someone out. I have no one to talk to about this to. I feel so stuck and confused on where to start.