I have had a number of dreams that I count as spiritual experiences. One came to me two days before Memorial Day this year. I did not feel a warmth, I did not have any great witness...yet the dream inspired me. This is what I wrote in my journal:

I had a dream last night. In this dream, I was applying to be a part of the military. Essentially, I was already part of the military, but some people would not "move on". It was a test of sorts. I was on a field where we practiced for sports (for a reason I didn't understand). I had been thoughtless and brought a taco of sorts onto the field. I was supposed to "eat light", and not eat on the field. Yet I ate it all while running. I hadn't had breakfast, and it filled me up (though it sat heavy in the stomach because I ate it very quickly).

I next appeared in a place (I'm not sure where) with a menu. It had options with peculiar and possibly humorous names, and one was for a 1/4 pound double cheeseburger. I said something along the lines of "dang!". It was only $2.49, and I was impressed. I was preparing to order it and another item.

The next scene had me at a "graduation ceremony". Near the beginning, the man in charge, my superior, asked us why we were a part of the program. I was one of the only ones to raise my hand. I responded, "to protect those I love." I said it loud enough for him to hear, or so I thought. I repeated myself, "To protect those I love, sir!" He ignored me.

A person came around and provided multicolored ponchos. I was not the recipient of one. It soon dawned on me that I was not accepted into the program.

I begged the lady nearby to tell me why I wasn't. I was in tears! She merely said, "I'm sorry" and handed me a paper stating that I could get a photo for free at a place. It was a photo of me and the rest of my company. For some reason the paper reminded me of the photos you pay for at the end of some rides at an amusement park. IT felt like salt in a wound.

My sorrow built, even while my faith and determination built. I promised, I promised I would work harder than anyone there. I was filled with greater confidence...but little greater joy. I came to a realization that I may have had a false belief: That the program was the best place for me to be. I hadn't consulted the Lord well enough beforehand, even though I was trying to do what was right in the moment. Unfortunately, this is where the dream ended.

However, fortunately, I woke up with greater faith. I made choices. I grew. I grew in my testimony that moments of pretend affect moments of reality. There is a saying that "who you pretend to be determines who you are. So be careful who you pretend to be!" In that moment, in that dream, I was a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. I was determined to do what was right, even as the world was determined to crush my spirit and harm my desire to do what was right.

You could say I woke up twice! Once while standing for my beliefs with mighty faith even after making a mistake, and once afterwards in a literal sense.