I had an insight come to me tonight. I was stressed out and reflecting on how weak I am in life in general. I often have to rely on others. I sometimes do things that I know God wants or allows me to do, but think selfish because of some hesitation or fear. These things often boil down to some self-servicing thing, something that helps me live a better life but doesn't seem to do anything immediate for those around me.

Tonight I hit a boiling point. I was stressed out, dizzy and tired. I started playing a game that helped me relax and focus. This thought came to me: God wasn't asking us not to care for ourselves. John the Revelator, Jesus' beloved disciple, asked to stay until Jesus came and his wish was granted. He was translated. I wonder often why Jesus did this for him, considering he would no longer feel any pain or suffering as like that of a mortal body. Was it selfish of John to ask for this?

No, I think it was quite possibly the best thing he could have asked for. While he would be protected from physical and mental suffering, he would still feel sorrow and grief. He would still "mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stood in need of comfort". And he would do this as a fellow man, not as an overseeing angel.

Jesus does want us to save our lives. But He wants us to spend our lives enjoyed the best they can: In His service. And if we sometimes have to take a break and replenish ourselves, that's fine.

I heard a song a while back that went something like this: "If only I could remove myself from the equation, then I could be truly selfless." But I don't think that's how selflessness works! In this sense selflessness is a misnomer: Even Christ didn't "remove himself from the equation". He knew what he was heading out to do. He would suffer, He would die, but He would also be exalted a resurrected being. He was ready to suffer because He knew what came next. He loved Himself enough to die for others. Today many millions all over the globe praise His name and live His precepts, and He accepts that praise wholeheartedly and without excuse.

This doesn't take anything away from the Atonement. Jesus did not die to cover any sin of His own. But I believe He did do it for Himself. He knew exaltation wouldn't be the same without others to join Him. And how many will come to it because of Him! And even those who are not will get some degree of salvation because of Him. He loved us all. But He loved Himself, too.