I’m a new late bloomer, early 30s, currently married to a man for ~6 years (pretty unhappily tbh for a host of issues, primarily continuous fallout from my CPTSD).

Because of the marriage strain, my husband and I haven’t had any sort of sexual intimacy in over 7 months, including much kissing. [Admittedly, I spent a few months in residential treatment for depression, but after, he refused to touch me. I know I’ve been attracted before & found him sexy but now it’s more meh. Not sure if that’s blooming or stress.]

Instead I’m watching lesbian porn like crazy and fantasizing about women I see around town. But I’m not sure if I’m actually gay because I’m nervous about cunnilingus…? Like, I’ve never liked my own taste & idk what the etiquette is regarding asking your partner to clean up? Like, what do you do about smegma? What about a long sweaty day walking around all day?

Please help me correct my ignorance. This is some serious Judy Blume shit.