For me, I was out with this super cute butch girl who let it slip that she used to hit her last girlfriend, and she tried to make it sound like the other girl's fault. That is a preposterous combination, IMO. I guess the other flags were more orange, because they were a bad fit for me personally moreso than absolutely guaranteed to ruin any relationship. I think they would put significant stress on a lot of relationships, but with the right person they could maybe be OK or a fun thing to share I guess.

• doing drugs in abandoned houses
• living with mom and no plan or desire to earn income and contribute financially to the household
• weed multiple times a day

Not sure how much evidence of therapy and personal growth someone would have to show me for me to greenlight a relationship with a person with a domestic violence history, but it's definitely more than zero.

Now you go. Stories don't need to be about dates with women, but I wanna put it out there that domestic violence is more common in same-sex couples according to my family law attorney friend.

Edit: Lots of commenters pointing out I'm wrong about DV being more common in same sex relationships. Whew!