So I’ve been using kratom for a little under 2 years now. I started taking it regularly after an emergency c section and having a child with significant medical needs who had to stay in the hospital for 3 months, it was just a very hard time in general and the kratom I found to be really helpful just for getting through high-stress, monotonous and depressing days. I continued another few months a couple times a week after baby came home and then quit drinking alcohol, after that I started using basically every day 3-4 times a day. I believe at one point I was up to at most 12 or 15 gpd. Then it kind of stopped working and I noticed myself chasing that more than ever so I started taking tolerance breaks and trying to reign it in or else it feels like I just replaced an addiction to alcohol.

After a year or so of trial and error, now I try to only do 2 doses a day unless I’m in another really challenging situation like being hospitalized with my baby and not sleeping for days because it again makes it more tolerable and makes me feel less emotionally ragged and able to stay present with the situation. It’s a reason to use more but I’m allowing it for now until or if it seems to be becoming problematic in some way.

I try to get to at least noon if not closer to 2 or 3 before taking my first dose and I try to not go above 3.15g. Second dose is 3.5 and it must be at least 3 hours later because that’s too soon, and no later than 7:30pm or it affects my sleep. Once I am at 3.75 per dose it’s starting to be time to take a break because that is too high for my body not to feel badly. If I got to that or close to it i start to have heart palpitations, which I also get for sugar and many other drugs especially alcohol. I must drink at least a half gallon of water a day or I feel the dehydrating effects of using more than one day in a row.

I like to exercise while on it and I like to do a lot of things a little bit more, which is a big concern for me as developing a higher tolerance than this and taking breaks has triggered depressive episodes that last longer than any “acute” physical withdrawal symptoms which for me have been mainly temperature fluctuations and fatigue, sometimes also feeling like I have a bit of a sinus infection or cold. Physically I’ve felt better usually in 5 days or less but mentally sometimes it’s been up to 2.5 weeks. That part for me sounds worse than what I hear a lot of people dealing with with similar or much higher use but I guess it’s also just a good built in way to know when it’s become unhealthy.

Something significant that has happened in the midst of my kratom use as well as life of chronic stress the past two years is my libido died off completely from being pretty high as a 36 year old woman, and my testosterone had plummeted. I’ve been taking a high dose of hormone replacement now which should have brought my libido back and then some but it hasn’t returned at more than maybe 10% of what it was. This hasn’t changed during tolerance breaks. So not saying it was the kratom as there are too many variables at play -especially stress- but it’s suspect.

I consider this something I have a tenuous grasp on and that for now it’s working okay. Would love to hear any thoughts.