so my (black) online friend (east asian) are in some dispute rn related to sexism/racism and it's annoying me. basically, a few weeks ago she told me about chappell roan and saying she's goregous, perfect and that I'd like her music. I asked who she is. she told me to look her up. I did and said "I never heard of her and she's mid imo". then she was all like "what how could you say that?" and we had our little friendly debate about it and it was done

then a few days ago I reposted the post of her dressed as the statue of liberty. cause you know she's a popular artist and it was socially relevant and I loved the message. then my friend called me a "fucking bandwagoner" and showed me a screenshot of my previous message calling her mid. I told her that was in reference to her looks but I like what she stands for and that's all that matters. she was like "nah, she's gorg fuck you", sent me some joking edited vid of ben shapiro saying "fuck you, your opinions dont matter, you're a gay black woman" and I didnt mind this at all cause I didnt think she was being deadass

then she said "dont be hating like a man. as a woman we have to do better. calling other girls mid as a girl is icky to me" then went on to talk about 4chan and everything else. I asked her if she's actually mad about what I said? and went on to explain that my intent isn't to be sexist. and that I love both men and women and I'm gonna express my attraction to them the same way cause I like what I like. I told her that I literally support the girl, even reposted her post, and everything cause the message matters before everything. am I not allowed to have an opinion?

and this also annoys me cause this friend of mine always speaks with aave even though she's 1. not black, 2. not from an environment with alot of black ppl. she's always tryna have this proximity to black culture, speak like us, etc. she even made a joke about how she would've pushed stephen hawking out his wheelchair if she was his wife (cause apparently he cheated on his wife at some point). she wants to be an activist now and other times when I'm just saying I don't find someone attractive but she can say and do all other types of stuff? like I just really feel like it's not that deep

idk, that might be unrelated but it kinda bothers me. am I the asshole here? are both of us? or what. I'm just pissed rn

edit/update : I was entirely in the wrong. she said/did questionable and ignorant things, but I was wrong for not telling her my true feelings about them until yesterday in a pretty angry rant. I was immature, uncommunicative, being a people pleaser and was dishonest. my friend was honest in telling me they didnt like my ussge of the word "mid", but I wasn't in calling out her past behavior, which after having a conversation with her, I know she had no ill intent at all and some things were misinterpreted on both our ends. I'm trying to make things right now cause I really did mess up. thank you for all the comments here they all gave me necessary and correct insight into correcting my behavior. thank you 🙌🏼