My path in life includes an addiction to ketamine. I have a limitless source of it, which I am giving up tomorrow morning so that it's out of my reach.

Ketamine makes me extremely empathetic whilst also causing me to feel like I am the only one holding up the universe, and the battle between good and evil, which is a trap in itself.

We are conscious beings that experience good and bad, you can't have one without the other, or there would be nothing, just neutrality, or, "no universe". Just nothing

Some are born into happy lives of good circumstance and others are born into terrible lives with bad circumstance, like child molestation. These children don't know how to defend themselves from this are and fucked up forever.

That brings me to the question of what happens when we die? Ketamine has me feeling like I must find an answer for existence. Our brains our programmed to do this, otherwise we would experience nothing. Ketamine accelerates that process.

I feel like I can't enjoy happiness when there are others suffering, and I can't simply comfort myself by enjoying my own life, because my logical thinking brings me to believe that I will live another life after this one.

I completely understand why some cling to religion as a way of coping with reality. But I believe religion, specifically the Christian one, is not a good way to bring about a better future. "Forgiveness for our bad actions" is an excuse. We are literally magicians shaping the world around us and instead of using our intelligence and power to foster a better world, we fall into a negative cycle of, basically, being a dopamine junkie.

That's humanities curse. It hasn't been broken so far, but it could, absolutely. Mark my words, it is possible for our coexistence with eachother to be heaven. Of course we won't experience eternal love, that's a pipe dream!

I believe if we can combine our philosophy of life, into this one or another that rely on the stupidity of God controlling or reality and future, our life, and not ourselves, we can fulfill our potential as "experiencers of the universe". We've come a long way from being apes in caves, killing eachother and living hell.

The past is hell and the future is heaven.