I'm circcling the hole. Circcling can't be a word. Fucking look at it. It doesn't make sense. I do and I don't want to hole. Why is it so maddening? I want the confusion but I am also afraid of it. What if I lose my mind? But you never do. You always get it back. This is trippy. Why does me just come back? What the fuck is me? 🤔 This is the question. What the fuck is me? Anxiety at the size of the question. A very big question. Am I just experiencing things as they happen. One eye shut to type. This all makes sense in my head but not when typed out. It does make sense reading it back. The question remains. What the fuck is me? Serioisly. As a concept. It doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm just me. What the fuck? Why is this normally OK? No one questions it. It's ridiculous. I shouldn't just be.

Can someone help me? Please. I am not to be trusted with ketamine. Bad things I have done for ketamine. Angry with me he is.