I wish I didn't think about you

Everyday

I wish I didn't wonder if you'd reach out to me

Everyday

I wish I didn't think about who you're waking up with

Everyday

I wish I didn't miss you

Every motherfucking day

I wish I knew what I always did so wrong

Everyday

I wish I understood what made you stop loving me

Everyday

I wish that my all was good enough for you

Everyday

I wish I could come to grips with how fucking unlovable I am

Every motherfucking day

I wish I weren't such an evil person

Everyday

I wish that my hatefulness wasn't so overpowering

Everyday

I wish I could take down these everlasting walls

Everyday

I wish that I was a good person

Every motherfucking day

I wish I could forgive myself for the things I did to hurt you

Everyday

I wish I could forgive myself for making you hate me

Everyday

I wish my heart would stop hurting

Everyday

I wish that you would come back

Every motherfucking day

I wish for the good old days when you wanted me in every way

Every motherfucking day

I wish I were worth your attention and love

Every motherfucking day

I wish I could have been the person you thought I was

Every motherfucking day

I wish I were your Person

Every single motherfucking day

But what are wishes?

Some say that they have something to do with dreams

Some say that they have something to do with the heart

But I have neither now

I don't have a heart because my heart was you

I don't have dreams because I live in a nightmare

But I still wish for you

Every motherfucking day

I wish I could trust myself

Everyday

I wish I were worthy of a love like you gave me

Everyday

I wish I were still your favorite

Everyday

But I'm not

Any motherfucking day

I wish everyone were wrong about me

Everyday

I wish that I was not the horrible person that I am

Everyday

I wish I had loved you right

Everyday

But I am everything they say and more, or perhaps less

Every motherfucking day

I wish you would think of me and smile

But you don't

I wish you could love me again

But you can't

I wish you'd hold me again

But you won't

I wish you'd love me again

But you never will

I wish I were the one you woke up to

Everyday

I wish I didn't mourn us

Everyday

I wish I could forget

Everyday

All I do is wish because the reality fucking sucks

Every motherfucking day

I wish my heart would heal

But it won't

I wish I didn't look at that one bowl and tear up

But I can't

I wish I could feel absolutely anything

But I don't

I wish it didn't end like it did

But it sure as fuck did

I wish I didn't see ads for Grey's Anatomy and think of you

But I do

I wish I could think of Albuquerque and not think of you

But I do

I wish I think of a car trip and that train and not think of you

But I do

I wish I could eat chocolate pudding and not think of you

But I do

I wish I weren't me anymore

Everyday

I wish you hadn't been my world

Everyday

I wish I could just get the fuck over it

Everyday

I wish I could just fucking disappear

One day