So the end is finally near, after living in Sweden for close to half a year, I can saftely say that I've truly found a place where I feel at home, and where everything just feels right. Sweden does of course have several problems, and if I were to choose between southern Sweden and Denmark, Denmark would of course win by miles. But up here in the north, most things are just working exactly as they should, and most things seem very sensible and in line with my beliefs.

Most impactful is of course the nature. The climate, the loneliness and just how extreme it is, is something that is incredibly powerful to me, and it's the main reason why I have such a strong love for this place. -30c and constant darkness might sound miserable, and I guess it technically is, but it all comes down to what you make of it, and somehow, it has instilled incredibly strong emotions in me that have most definitely changed my life, and my way of thinking about things. You learn to appreciate things in a different way, especially the sun. The very thing that gave us all life. When you don't see it for weeks on end, especially with a fucked up sleep schedule, you just appreciate it exponentially more than you do normally when you finally see it again. And due to the suns very low position in the sky in the winter, it literally just always looks incredible, always super red/orange, like the entire sky is on fire, it's a sight that never gets old.

My last days here will be overcast, and I'll be busy getting ready to leave, so today, I drove an hour away to a super nice hill, with an incredible overview of the surrounding area, and then I just stood there, and watched the sunset, and it's honestly one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced, everything felt right, but it also felt sad, cause I knew that it was a metaphor for the end of everything that's made me so happy over the past half year. I smoked a cigarette, sat down, my mind filled with flashes of all the memories I've built up here, and it basically all just cumulated in a rush of pure emotion that I rarely feel.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed, and the sun going down beautifully illustrates this, I got to see the sun going down today, will I get to see it going down again? I of course most likely will, but the thought of every day possibly being your last is something that really just keeps me going, it pushes me to new limits, and pushes me to never say "no" to new experiences. I've definitely discovered that life is a weird thing while up here, I'm just a bag of meat and I happen to be sentient, and I guess that has given me a more spiritual look on life. Don't get me wrong, I do know that there isn't an all-knowing god up there dictating everything for me, but the thought still instills a sense of respect in me, a respect for the nature, and a respect for what's been given to me. It something that makes me want to love everybody and be kind to everyone I meet. It makes me want to make the world a better place.

I'm honestly not sure where I'm going with this, but that's always how these type of posts are, even though I make them incredibly rarely. But yea, the nature here, oh man, so beautiful, so powerful, so humbling. Driving through the landscape here will never get old, and I could do it for 20 hours on end if I had the opportunity, it never gets old, and it never seizes to impress me.

And ALL of that text is just about nature and whatever kind of weird things I'm feeling, I haven't even mentioned any of the social stuff yet, all the people here have just been so nice to me, I've been respected, people are interested in me, and they give me lots of attention, it's just so heartwarming, it's also probably one of the things I'll miss the most. Back in Denmark I'm just another Dane, nothing special about me. Up here, I'm quite close to other people, but I'm not quite them, so they find me interesting, they want to know more about me, and it's given me such a huge confidence compared to what I had when I first arrived up here.

I guess I just have to accept the fact that I don't want to leave. This feels like home to me, this is what I want, this is where I belong, and going back will be a huge loss for me. Atleast that's what I'm thinking right now, but when I first arrived up here, I was also thinking that I just lost out on a bunch of fun and so on at home. But it all turned out fine. So I'm sure that when I come home, I'll end up feeling just fine, and seeing my friends again will of course feel fucking amazing. Man, it's so hard to describe. I don't want to leave, but I want to see my friends back home. Like, I both want to NOT leave, but I also want to leave. Which obviously won't work.

Fuck it, I'm going home, it's going to be great, I'll see some people that I KNOW are incredible, it's going to be nice. And I've learnt so many things here, that I'll be able to thrive even better at home.