Like a lot of people here I been looking for a buddy for a while and I find it really hard to find anything real which makes me question my approach to this and would love to hear what you guys think, and what's worked for you.

Finding people to jerk with is not hard or an issue, it's been finding the right guy to do it with. I'm not just looking for a guy to come over, watch porn and leave. I'm looking for a good buddy to have a strong friendship connection and bond with, and we would also jerk off together/eachother. A friendship where we wouldnt meet just to jerk, but would hang out, drink, hike, ski, play video games etc and if the mood strikes we'd rub one out. That seems really hard to find, maybe its to good to be true.

Grindr was a disaster because everyone wants a quick thing, even if I'm very clear I dont want a quick thing or sex, they dont care.
Doublelist was okay but after like 2 emails it just came down to "let me see your cock, can you host".
bateworld has a pretty small community and most people there are very weird and wayyyy into jerking - that's literally their world.
Reddit was kinda the same. Even though I'm very clear I want a buddy, all replies were short and sparked no discussion or anything close to a normal convo.
So finding bators isnt hard, its jsut hard to find a same normal one that doesnt just want to bate but want to be a real buddy. Lots of weirdos and that havent worked out.

On the other side, if I find friends in the real world then I don't pursue anyone to jerk because I dont want to ruin those friendships. I tend to keep any new friendships separate and don't try to rope them in with some angle of becoming bate buds.

So my issue is, how do I find someone in between? Someone who isnt jus a friend, and someone who doesnt just want to bate?
From what I've read Bumble bff has a lot of dudes who are closeted or trying to hit on dudes?
is there any subreddit about this stuff? I checked out the bromance one but didnt find any people in my area.

For people who have jerk buds, that are actually buddies and hang out like normal friends and not just meet up to jerk - how did you find them? Any tips?

Sorry if this sounded like a rant and thanks for reading!