hello. im a freshie about to be in my second semester and im over it. this school is one of my biggest regrets. i feel like the academic culture here is incredibly toxic. as i learned from my first semester, no one here is willing to help me out unless i have something to offer. also, it’s super lonely out here imo. so many people have already found their long term friends through summer pre-orientation programs and whatnot. but i still have yet to meet one person that i can call an acquaintance. i only coexist with my roommates but everyone on my floor seems to have strong bonds with theirs. my first semester was an absolute disaster, but i somehow managed to pull through despite the temptation of dropping out and running back home. i don’t want it to feel like that again. i would’ve transferred by now if i could, but i know hopkins has the opportunities and resources that i need for what i want to pursue in the future. it’s just so painful, being away from home for weeks and forcing myself to live like this. i used to wake up every morning and cry in the bathroom because i dreaded going to class where i know im probably the dumbest person in the room. anyway i should stop myself, this turned into a vent post by accident.

tldr; im a big dumb dumb with no friends and an empty head

edit: thanks for the gold/silver! it’s nice to know that im not alone in the way i feel.