What do you think JA's ideal of how a relationship should begin and progress to an engagement? Ideal in terms of morals and manners, that is, not ideal in terms of storytelling potential!

I think it's as follows.

A single man and a single woman meet in the general course of social activity. They find themselves both enjoying each other's company and a friendship develops while they learn about each other's characters.

At some point, each of them being in touch with their own feelings, they start to realise their feelings for the other no longer quite fit into the platonic ideal. If one of them also has doubts about the others' character, or in the woman's case about his finances, they would take steps to distance themselves to let their feelings die down. Obviously that's easiest if one of them can physically leave, like when Julia Bertram leaves her sister's house to avoid Henry Crawford. But, say, Mrs Gardiner advises Elizabeth to walk things back with Wickham by discouraging him from visiting.

Assuming no such concerns, the man would look for subtle signs his feelings are returned (signs that Catherine Morland gives unintentionally and Anne Elliot gives deliberately.) If the man thinks he's getting them, he proposes, in private so if he's wrong the lady can say no without any risk of her family trying to pressure her into the match. Also, if she refuses, he leaves the next day, even if only for a temporary visit elsewhere.

And if she says yes, then the courtship can start with all the compliments and love letters and terms of endearment as appropriate to their personalities.

Anyway, what do you all think?