I’m an aspiring amateur boxer from Virginia. I was born in America but my parents are from El Salvador, a Christian Hispanic country. Only about 1000 muslims in El Salvador. I was raised as a Catholic but I had a brother who was very nihilistic and very athiest. Because of his outlook on life of how there’s no point to anything, everything is a result of random events and there’s no meaning to life, I myself became super nihilistic. During my early teenage years I fell into the liberal ideas of depression and was very vulnerable for a few years. I was so depressed. At that point, I fell deeply in love with this one girl who at one point was a friend of mine in middle school. As it turned out though, she was very promiscuous and was using my friendship to better her own depression. We were both depressed kids and I was just the nice guy she was playing while she went out and had sex with other men. Even then, I still denied this fact and chased after her hopelessly. In the end, it didn’t matter. I was so lost and broken I wanted to kill myself. At that point in life, I was fat, unhygienic, no fear of God, horrible relationship with my family, my own mother was convinced she failed her job as a mother, and had no real friends.

I had one friend at that point. We’ll call him Eli. Eli was a street kid but was a deep realist. He taught me the importance of hard work and having self respect and putting myself first and having important goals. He was on the wrestling team in Highschool. He would get into fights but for pretty rightous reasons. He actually used to fight pdophiles and rpists and abusers. He was like the real life Robin Hood. And he helped me a lot get over this girl I was simping for. He taught me a lot about being a man. He was just there for me. And I honestly owe him my life for that. But even then, it wasn’t enough. I needed something more. Covid happened and now I’m stuck at home all day. So that’s when I began working out. Not just that, but take up boxing. I had started picking up boxing a year prior but this time decided to take it seriously. Because I was still pretty depressed I wanted to do something with my life. So I learned to box, started sparring with people close by. Got my butt kicked a lot but always came back the next day for more rounds. I started developing a passion for boxing. And it started with fighters like Khabib Nurmagomedov, Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson. Their faith in Islam inspired me to become a catholic again.

So I became a catholic again, ignored my brothers nihilism, and things started getting better for me. Got into good shape, started thinking better about life, believed in God again and developed a good mindset. Girl wise, I started talking to multiple women and had long distance relationships with many different women. My friend Eli taught me how to talk to girls online and it was like a buffet for me to pick and chose what girl I wanted to mess with. However, 2 years later I realized my grave mistake. I wasted my time and energy with the wrong women.

A lot of these women were promiscuous. We were just using each other for sex. I became desperate to lose my virginity and so I ended up sleeping with an escort. Paid for sex. I felt empty. And kept doing it for a brief time. I felt hollow. I was being distracted from my passion with boxing by sex and bad women. I became a porn addict as well. One night, I was watching porn with one of my girl friends on call. Long story short, I felt absolutely disgusted with myself. The following morning, I ended up vomitting. And I never vomit. I was so disgusted with myself I felt physically ill.

A lot of other things have happened the past two months. I had a rib spasm inside my rib and was very much in pain for a month. My foot was injured from jogging. My tailbone in my spine was messed up. For a month I was not comfortable. I could not even sit or lay down without being in pain. But even then I couldn’t blame God for it. It all happened because I needed it to happen. Sometimes God tests us.

Early in January, I told my other friend, we’ll call him Has, that I was interested in Islam. Seeing how disciplined these muslim fighters are inspired me as a Catholic to be more religious in the beginning but the interest was always there. And at that time I was asking questions. What is the Holy Trinity? How is Jesus God if he died on the cross? Why would God send a baby to die for the sins for humanity if God is a all forgiving God and why wouldn’t he have forgiven Adam? Why is Jesus called the son of man or the son of God? Why is Jesus called either of those things if Adam was the first human? I asked all these questions and told Has I was interested in Islam. He was very happy for me.

After a few months I did reject the Truth initially because I felt as though I was betraying my parents because we’re a catholic family. We go to church every Sunday and we pray. My dad has a radio show to preach and both my parents are very involved with the church and have many church preacher friends. They go to church every day multiple times in a day. They’re devout Catholics. But after having vomitting, I started up my research again. I learned many things of the prophet Muhammad pbuh such as the marriage with Aisha in which the prophet Muhammad pbuh waited 3 years for her (showing his discipline as a man), him splitting the moon to prove to the disbelievers God is real and that he is indeed a prophet and yet the disbelievers called him a magician, him clenching the thirst of his army with the power of God, the fact an illiterate man could write the Quran. Learning about Mary and how God promised her no harm would ever befall her son. I’m starting to question the authenticity of Christianity and I honestly believe the crucifixion makes no sense. God is a God of mercy why would he let the son of Mary be harmed if he promised her. God doesn’t break promises.

I have gone to a mosque and spoken with the imam. He believes I need a wife and not any girl friends who are promiscuous. He told me about how Islam is a religion of peace. How there is only one God worthy of worship and that He has no partners. I have been watching hours of videos by Mufti Menk, Muhammad Hijab and Ali Dawah and I’m honestly obsessed with learning about Islam. I bought two English translations of the Quran and have been reading them.

I am writing this because I wanna learn more about Islam. I think I will take my Shahada and accept Islam as the one true religion. I would like to talk to knowledgeable muslims who can help me on life path. I feel like I have a big opportunity in my hands. I train at a actual boxing gym now with many pro boxers. My coach has 25 years of fighting experience. I work at a restaurant which pays me 15 dollars an hour 40 hour work weeks. I wake up every morning at 3am to do 80 push ups every week day and jog 3.5 miles in my sauna suit. I feel like God is guiding me.

If anyone can help me get closer to the truth, it’d mean a lot to me. Thank you guys and Alhamdulillah for Islam.