I'm sorry for that super long title, but I didn't know how to elevator pitch that, and I don't know how to do a search for it. If it's already been asked, then by all means, please put the link in to that thread if you can find it.

My problem is that unless I feel like things are going perfect for me, I will always assume that someone's comments about another person, life in general, or whatever, are somehow an indictment of me. I'll do acrobatics to think that someone might be being passive aggressive or doing that thing where maybe something comes up because of something else going on in life, and they are kind of hoping you'll pick up what they are subtly putting down without having to actually pull you aside to say something.

I think the worst part about it is that I keep some incredibly direct people around me and am working on being more assertive and direct myself. So, I know this is something I probably picked up earlier in life, or maybe is a function of the ADHD brain constantly looking for a problem to solve. I know I have a tendency to toxically direct that inward - super hard cycle to break by the way, if anyone is trying you're not alone - so I know that it's just me projecting onto the things people say.

But have any of you that did this same thing found a strategy to make it stop? It's with people I do care about and I trust them to bring things up as needed, so the "don't give a fuck" thing isn't going to work here. Any and all advice is welcome. Thank you in advance.