Well let me start by saying that after leaving a partner due to shitty behavior, I am surprised I have held up as well as I have. At first my intrusive thoughts came up, but then my logical nature said hey dumbass, there is a flaw in that thought, and so I am focusing on positive coping mechanism. They are not ideal, but they are better than the intrusive thoughts by a mile.

But one thing is that leaving my partner and seeing other in relationships kind of triggers thoughts about my intrusive thoughts, even if it is to say dude remember those thoughts are half assed. But what had looped me back to these are past plans to go someplace , only for that place to mutate into a less ideal place, even if it is still enjoyable. I do have another place, but I don't have a backup for that place and it fits the bill in a check box, but not emotionally. I also tried a lot of ideas in the past to find a partner, but that seema nuked. I also wanted to be more successful , and while I am a bit ahead it is not nowhere I need to be and that is partially my fault. I am trying to rectify that with two plans. I also want to get positive ideas out of my head and hoping those burn out the intrusive thoughts, but it is not a guarantee, even less so than in the past. I am grateful, but I worry if I burn through these options and don't have a partner, my intrusive thoughts (my shadow nature), may take over and pull me under.

Has anyone else dealt with situations like this where and intrusive thoughts is almost a complex so it seems?