I know that generally INTJs are pillars of logic and reason, but I have kind of felt weird that most my friends and family have not come to visit me in the past 3 years. I get that expecting them to come every year or whatever is a bit of a pain, but I fee kind of hurt by it , especially considering that I just have one friend here and my fiance at this point. I do have one friends that mentions he wants to visit but he has legal restrictions so he cannot leave the state.

I was talking with my mom today and we got into an argument (I was the one at fault but I kept asking how I can fix it and she felt like bringing up my character flaw due to this. Suffice to say we solved it but not before me yelling at her to get to the point and calling back multiple times to solve the problem because I was chewing her out). Previously I had offered to go half on a flight and she mentioned she had to pay for some dental issues. About 15-20 years ago when my sister lived a few hours away she would visit her Suffice to say I threw that in her face as I felt bad that she did not want to visit me and asked me why I wanted her to come out here (about 1500 miles away from the Midwest). I honestly wanted to show her around to show her I am doing fine and show her my house.

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The two people I do care somewhat about and make an effort to visit are my grandparents as they are advanced in age and I want to see them in case one of them pass, but beyond that my one friend with legal issues will probably eventually leave the state, another friend is probably going to live a few hours away, and honestly my hometown is fucking depressing especially post covid. Long story short is the more time goes on the more I feel vindicated to be a fortress on to myself. I don't feel as bad for my mom as she has my sister and my dad passed so once my friends move and my grandparents pass there is nothing to encourage me to go there more than once a year.

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I know that the burden should be on my (as I chose to move away), but when your family does not want to visit (even when you offer to help pay), it is just a bit frustrating and you realize even family is a relative thing. Sorry for the blog post.