I have been trying to work on being more authentic and realized that part of the people pleasing mask that I have put on for a while is a mask to not fuck up any semblance of normalcy. But the fact of the matter is most people don't want to hear about Norbert Weiner, some game I am working on, or my Lord and Savior Murray Rothbard /s. The counter point is people have becoming annoying jackasses post covid, so lately I have been tempted to say fuck it and be real about how I feel about things (If someone does not say excuse me, I might tell them to get the fuck out of the way). I know that is probably not ideal, but my tolerance for bs is at pre-covid levels and people are acting wayyy above the pre-covid level of bullshit, so in some cases I think it is appropriate. Also this has made me reconsider buying at Costco, even if it costs and is further away.

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But beyond that, if people can spew the most inane bullshit, why should I feel afraid to talk about cybernetics ? Obviously talking for an hour about it is a bit much, but at this point trying to not appear weird is itself making things weird. So it might take a few, but when it comes to personal interests I feel like I have repressed my personality in favor of not sticking out like a sore thumb. How to I manage to be true to myself while not being stupid and not causing issues? Often times I am either extremely quiet or talk too damn much and finding a balance is hard.