Hi all!

I’m an AFAB with high T naturally. Diagnosed as PCOS but honestly I think I’m intersex. I’m fat, sweaty, and hairy, with weird periods. I don’t get cysts or uterine buildup. I don’t have pain. No insulin resistance. My body grows dark coarse facial and body hair with or without my naturally high T levels.

I called a queer health center today and hoping to get more answers on my journey. Genetic testing is proving hard and while I’m lucky to have existing physicians who see PCOS as a socially constructed diagnosis for a massively diverse group of people, (they ignore the “fat lady disease”) I don’t think they fully embrace it. Thankfully, they respect my rights to how I want to perceive and treat my body. I’m also newly sexually active and newly realized I’m poly and more into casual sex than I thought. Hence, establishing a relationship with a queer health center.

I identify as a womxn or NB lesbian, and my beard doesn’t bother me enough to spend money or time removing it. But if I could wave a wand and never have had it, I would. I’ve become confident enough in it though.

I think gender is a very real socially constructed joke. I’m a womxn, she/they pronouns, but recently i’ve had more thoughts about virilization. Growing my beard so it fills out, some bottom growth. I’m happy being intersex and if I confirm I have an intersex body, I want my preferred characteristics and preferred “blend” affirmed.

However, I currently sweat like a teenage cis boy - and it smells like it - and I’d like to avoid making that worse. Honestly, my dream would be to feminize the rest of my body while having some bottom growth. Can I do T gel without other body changes?

Any ideas? Commiseration? Advice?

I spent my teen years desperately trying to repress any masculinity, lose weight, and get rid of my beard. Spent 20-22 building confidence and being okay enough with my hormones as they naturally are. Now I want my body to affirm how I feel inside.