i’m currently 20, about to be 21 in a week. i am getting close to being in good financial standing with a job and i hope to live with a roommate (friend or bf) once i graduate college. however, my parents told me that they won’t allow me to move out until im either married or 30. they told me that i “…have my whole life to live on my own, but only a limited amount of time to live with them.” it makes me feel really sad when they say that.

i understand what they’re saying and i feel horrible leaving them, but sometimes i can’t help but feel really lonely and controlled in this household. they have cared very well for me physically (food, health, housing), but emotionally it’s getting to be too much. for example, i once opened up to them about how depressed and anxious i had been feeling, but they then told me i was being “ungrateful and selfish.”

they also won’t let me buy a car with my own money that i have been saving up even though it would make our daily lives way easier, and they’ve been borrowing my money to pay for bills and mortgage (my dad is unemployed and my mom teaches music lessons from our house). they said that borrowing from me is their last resort and they seemed genuinely hurt by their actions. they ask prior to taking it (they’re not just stealing it haha) and of course i’d love to help them out, but it feels like they’re taking away my ability to live my own life as well. but then again, they’ve done a lot for me, so i feel like helping them out is the bare minimum. (sorry i don’t know if this is going on a tangent or not)

i don’t know. am i being dramatic and ungrateful?

edit: everyone is so wonderful and supportive. thank you so much, please know i’ve read every single response <33