I moved in with my boyfriend a month after graduating high school because I got kicked out of my aunt and uncles home (we have a wonderful relationship just cannot live together). There has been physical alterations over the span of 2 years, lying, cheating, controlling, cutting off relationships and resources slowly, the works. I feel like an empty shell of who I used to be. I know what I need to do in general. Such as, save money to get my own place, separate financial/ personal ties, basically have a clear clean cut exit plan. I guess this post is asking for resources or just support because I’m scared of being alone. I love him so deeply but I’m in love with a version of him that doesn’t exist. I know I need to leave because he has taken my happiness, my love for life, my soul and spirit with nothing returned. I do not want this to be my life especially in the future. I know it will be messy because he is a petty person so for my sanity I understand that I will be walking away with essentially nothing. I adopted 2 kittens and somehow his name is the only name on the adoption papers so I need to find out how to put only my name on there because he is the type to not let me take them because he knows it’ll hurt me more than anything. Like I said, I have to move quietly and carefully to get everything in order and set so it’s as clean as a break as possible. My mental state has suffered severely over these last few years and I’m at the point that the fight is not worth it. All I want are my 2 kittens. If you have even a similar situation and how you overcame it I would love to hear it. I just need to be strong enough to follow through and know that I’m not alone.

I want to make it clear that we do live together currently but there is no physical abuse. It is much more mental/ emotional. While I do have family that can offer a place to vent I don’t have family that can help financially or to live with. It’s just a situation that got out of hand and I now need to be an adult and pick up the pieces of what’s left. I was just young, dumb, and in love. I didn’t respect myself or my boundaries and have been conditioned to think this treatment is normal. I understand my wrongdoing towards myself and am asking for help and advice on how to choose myself and be in control of my own life again.

I promise I am safe and family that lives close that worst comes to worst they offer a safe haven. They are aware of the situation and check in frequently. I don’t want to trigger anyone or make it seem like a do or die situation. It’s one of those situations where you need your mom or dad for support or to show you the way and I unfortunately have lost both at a young age.

Thank you to everyone here on this community truly. Some people don’t understand how bad it hurts when you need a parent to lean on and you have to be that for yourself. To all the wonderful parents out there, thank you. There’s nothing in this world that can compare to that kind of unconditional love. I would give anything and everything to truly feel that just for a second. Your love and support doesn’t go unnoticed, even from a stranger just catching a moment of it.