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I don’t believe in myself because my parents never believed in me
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I struggle to believe in myself because my entire childhood I was set up to fail. I encountered a lot of challenges from the external world - like racism, sexual harassment, abuse, mental illness - and I didn’t get the support I needed from my parents for anything - in fact, most of the time they made my existing problems much worse AND created severe problems (like they did physical, psychological and sexual abuse).

It made me feel like my problems were insurmountable and that I was a failure. As a child, nobody gave me the tools to deal with them or bothered to support me or even recognize that I was struggling. And my parents told me all the time, every day almost, how much of a failure I was - that I would end up unemployed and on benefits, that no one will ever be friends with me, that I would never have a successful romantic relationship, that I was good for nothing, that I would never amount to anything in life. After years and years of hearing that every day, it ended up completely wearing me down.

I still struggle to believe in myself today. I still struggle to believe I have the capacity and the ability to do anything - even if I have proven multiple times in my adult life that I am capable and competent in many aspects. I cut them out of my life at 20, have developed a successful career, found a loving long term partner, built a supportive chosen family, ran multiple half marathons, managed to get therapy at 16 behind my parents back and I’ve been on and off therapy since then (currently seeing a great therapist). Yet I still feel crippled by self doubt and struggle to believe in myself.

How do I get over this?

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Posted
3 months ago